The other day at a study group, when I said since my husband died 14 years ago and I was alone, this man looked me straight in the eye and said, "It's your fault that you are alone." I wanted to ask if I should start selling sex so as not to be alone. The poor guy has not a smidgen of an idea of what it means to be alone. He has a living, healthy wife, and they belong to a lot of organizations and they are never lonely. At least, he thinks so. You can be lonely in a crowd, in a marriage, at church, which is my loneliest place, lots of places. It's probably a fact that unless they die together in an auto accident, one of them is going to be left to learn exactly what alone means. Here it is:
You attend a group sponsored event, and enjoy it. But when it's over, everybody goes home to their huts, and we who are alone go to an empty hut.
Alone is: Keeping the lights on in the house so that you can pretend somebody's there.
Alone is: Forget about the "honey do" list, because there's no honey to do lit.
Alone is: There's nobody to tell you how you look or if there's a forgotten tag somewhere.
Alone is: There's also nobody in these big woods to look you over for deer ticks or to fasten that necklace or zip up a long back zipper, so you just quit wearing those things, even though they're among you favorites.
Alone is: Even if you are fortunate enough that friends invite you for dinner--you're still a fifth wheel. It seems as if everything, including dinner tables, is meant for two-by-two. Maybe your host will realize that and invite somebody else who is alone, if only to equalize the table settings.
That's part of it, folks. I rarely get lonely, but I am alone forever.
Muthah
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I hear you... I was raised an only child and for various reasons was left alone and grew to be a solitary person. Although married and with four children, I have had times I've felt lonely, but never alone. I have seen how that can be for my mother-in-law after her husband died several years ago and I honestly do feel for her. I know how painful it would be if I were to have my husband pass... wish there were something I could say to make it better. Only know there are so many people out there like you... I wish you peace with your alone-ness.
Good dispatch and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you as your information.
Post a Comment